Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
How does it feel to date your dad?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
