I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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