You made me cry and you don't even care
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
