maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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