So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Randomize
