Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
