Umm I'm too high to move.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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