You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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