but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
