I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
