Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
