Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
