yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We are all done wearing pants today
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
