do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Bring me that man meat
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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