just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I have already put on my inside pants.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
