i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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