she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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