I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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