I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
