I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
