The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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