I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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