i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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