oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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