My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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