I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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