in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
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I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
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This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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