Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
