I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
