Why are handjobs necessary in class?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
