what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
