Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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