she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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