Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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