Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
