He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
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Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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