I wish I could teleport
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
