That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
