"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bondingš
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I told you that you couldnāt eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
