did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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