I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
