Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
