i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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