Are we in a gay sports bar?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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