New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
