At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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