Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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