I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
