Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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