On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
