ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
