You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
