i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
