I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
