Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
